The Art Of Creating A Relationship On Linkedin

Today, I need to rant a bit about the art of creating a good relationship on LinkedIn, but before I do that, I want to address the elephant in the room.  Connecting with the sole purpose of selling and not forming a relationship is not a good practice.  Here is a real example of what not to do and I believe there is a better way. I got this connection request today they requested to connect. This is what it said, “Hi, I just wanted to connect with you to see if you're interested in adding some virtual assistants.” So what's wrong with that connection request?  It's simple enough, it's innocent, enough, right? I'm going to tell you a few things that I didn't like about it, first of all, asking me for something and we're not even connected yet, that's number one. Number two, they don't even mention my name. Hi, Lorraine. So they have that information, so why not use it? And then they don't even know me, but they're assuming that I may need a virtual assistant. So my thing is, why not see by getting to know me what my needs are through the messaging on LinkedIn, I could see if I said something like, Oh, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so busy, then they could say “Have you ever considered using a virtual assistant?” I believe this is not how to create a good relationship online. 

Few thoughts. 

I say this a lot but when you're connecting you want to make sure you use their name. In the real world, I know sometimes we forget names. We meet somebody and then five seconds later we forget their name and that's easy to do. Online, it's different because you already have the name, so just remember to address them by their names and use it when you're communicating with them. I also think it's important to tell them why you want to connect. And I don't think the reason to connect right away is that you want to sell your stuff. I do think that you need to do is find another reason maybe a commonality may be something that a school you went together with or maybe just a note to say:  “Hi (Name) I think that we could both add value to each other. Why don't we connect here on LinkedIn”. It’s that simple. I don’t think you say in a connection request “Buy my stuff”.  Like I wouldn’t say in a connection request, “Hey your LinkedIn page stinks and you need to get a LinkedIn audit.” That would not go well. I believe the first connection request shouldn't be the canned generic request that LinkedIn gives you.  It should be something personal, like, “Hey name, I met you online at this networking event and I like what you shared. I’ve seen some of your work and I want to connect with you.”  If you make it personal or about them, it’s a much better way to create a relationship.  

When you’re connecting for the first time be yourself. On one of my podcasts that I guested on this week we were talking about LinkedIn and talking about being authentic in creating relationships on LinkedIn. Don't try to be someone else. We all hear the word authentic and be yourself over and over again. I feel that if you are being yourself when you're when you start to create these online relationships, you'll get a lot further when you connect with somebody right away. And remember don’t write them a long three-paragraph note on why they should buy your stuff. If there's anything that you've learned from me this year about being online. is creating a relationship.

Lastly, I want you to think about when you are writing a connection request what it looks like. I think this is important to keep it short and be respectful of someone's time when you're writing it. If you're writing three or four paragraphs of a novel. It honestly won’t be read. It’s not even right to do that because you're it's somebody you don't know and you're expecting them to read all that. So just make it short and simple for the first-time request. If they do connect with you, this is what you can do afterward, “I see that you're in this profession. I read this article the other day and I feel that it would be really helpful to you”. That will go so much further than  “Hi. I would love to be connected with you. And I think that you should buy my widget or I think you should buy my software or buy my software does and blah blah blah blah blah.”  So I think you get the point. I want you to just really think about the art of how you create a relationship. We all create relationships differently. I like to talk to people, and I like to eventually get them on a phone call when it feels right, but I never rush that. It's not like “Hey, thanks for connecting with me. Can you please call me today at 203–515-8465.” It’s usually after many conversations. This week I want you to think about how you want to connect with others and create relationships on LinkedIn.  I hope this helps and if you have some thoughts that you would like to share on this topic, write them below.